Comprehension
by Sunsick Puppy
Summary: It's always easy to hate. Understanding however, is something entirely different. Tohma realizes this in a rather shocking way and is subjected to a rude awakening. Tohma x Ryuichi


Title: Comprehension

Genre: Gravitation / Angst / Slash

Pairings: Tohma + Ryuichi

Disclaimer: Gravitation and its characters do not belong to me. They belong to Maki Murakami.

_Author's Notes: Inspiration hit just when i was listening to Shining Collection and this was the result. Well...that and coupled with the tragic news i've gathered from Gravitation EX about Ryuichi. TT Supposedly, this could end up as a multiparter, but the prospects are bleak, due to the fact i'm so not done with From where i stand. Oh well._

_Readers of my other gravitation fic, sorry for the wait! I hope this will tide you over!_

_Readability's a 68.5. I was in a weird mood when i was writing this..._

* * *

Ryuichi had always been by his side, and that was something Tohma had grown accustomed to. And if he were to confess, it was so familiar to him that he had begun to rely on Ryuichi emotionally – something that he would never have done. Not on his parents, not on Eiri, and definitely not on Mika. And yet, he had relied on Ryuichi – because Ryuichi had never failed him. He was always there; an unfailing, unyielding support. He was soft, he was hard and he was most of all, warm and Tohma took comfort in that. 

So when Ryuichi told him he was going away to America, he was stunned into silence. He couldn't speak, couldn't ask why he was leaving so abruptly, and most importantly, he couldn't ask him to stay. So he let him leave, watching as Ryuichi walked away from him purposefully, the sun at his back stretching long shadows on the rough tarred ground. He didn't even send him off, feeling too betrayed and being too wasted to; curling up on the cold marble floor in his apartment with empty scotch bottles for company.

When he got over it, he realized his folly. He shouldn't have relied on Ryuichi; there should have been no exception to that rule. He would be independent, and he would not be hurt again. So he locked up his heart and stored the key somewhere inaccessible and when people looked into his eyes, all they ever saw were chips of ice. No one saw him no more, and that was the plan.

He figured Mika knew, and Eiri probably had, but whatever they knew, they didn't pry nor did they try to get him show his true royal blues. In some twisted sense, he was quite glad for that. At least _they_ understood, he thought.

So when Ryuichi came back, three years after they last met, he did not see Tohma anymore. All he saw, and was allowed to see, was Seguchi. But he was not perturbed, and if he was, it was not written on his face nor etched into his deep fathomless blues. Tohma felt rather cheated at that, but then he told himself he was not to care, and so he shut the emotion away behind chips of ice.

When Christmas came, Noriko dragged Tohma to Ryuichi's place for a surprise party. Whatever for, he didn't know. Ryuichi usually planned surprises, he told Noriko. She gave him a look – the one that made him feel like a complete idiot. _That's why_, she said, and sounded rather sad. Unwilling to deal with that foreign emotion on her usually happy face, he shrugged and resigned himself to follow.

She fished out a key from her pocket, proclaiming K passed it to her on account of many reasons he didn't bother to hear and proceeded to open the door with a resounding click. She crept along in the apartment, Tohma shuffling after, and opened his bedroom door with much exuberance.

And there he was, basking in the moonlight in all his naked glory as he lay on his bed, legs curling around some unknown stranger as the man thrust in and out of him, moans of pleasure escaping those familiar lush lips of his. Noriko gasped, flushed red with embarrassment as she stood rooted to the spot. As for him, he did not know what to think. Or rather, thoughts did go through his mind, but he refused to recognize them.

It went along the lines of _I should be doing that to him. How dare that bastard violate my Ryuichi that way!_

The sliver of light from the living room drifted into the dark bedroom and the man stopped with a grunt, lifting mercurial eyes to meet his. Ryuichi made a small sound of protest, grabbing at the strange man before realizing they had company. Still attached, the man sat back on the bed, gathering Ryuichi into his lap.

Those familiar royal blues still clouded with pleasure rose to meet his even as he slung himself all around the strange man with mercurial eyes. We're busy here, he had said, and that was the cue for Noriko to apologize repeatedly and close the door.

As they made to leave, frazzled and all, the realization hit him like a ton of bricks, and suddenly, he wanted to cry. He didn't however, resisting the urge to until he pulled his empty car to a side on the highway after dropping Noriko off at her place.

The tears fell even before he left the car.

He _finally_ understood why Ryuichi left.

Tohma had broken him.

Nitric Acid 2007

* * *

_HNO3: Okay, coz i think Tohma's thoughts are rather confusing - since this is kinda like a multipart condensed into a oneshot, i shall attempt explaining! See...Ryuichi was never like this until Tohma came along and they became bedroom partners with supposedly no strings attached. Ryuichi however, loved him and their bedroom arrangement was wearing down on him, making him jaded and stuff coz it wasn't all about sex to him. So in that sense, Tohma broke him and Ryuichi left - or vice versa whichever you prefer_

_Should i put this in front or at the back?_

_In any case, feedback is very welcome!_


End file.
